Shacking, Co-Habitating, Living together or whatever name you would like to give it! It has become a topic of conversation in the world today and is considered Taboo for Christians. It is a topic that I have put off Blogging about because of mixed perceptions. But, I am doing God's work and will speak His truth about this issue. I am not one that wants to be the people's choice. This Blog post is going to give you Biblical References about the dangers of Shacking. If you want to learn about it, keep reading.
"More U.S. Couples are living togther, study finds." This article that I recently read on CNN was the final factor that led me to Blog about this! Please, read this article you haven't already. I had also seen it all when I got wind of a book called "Shacking Up: The Single Girl's Guide to Living in Sin without Getting Burned." I could not believe it! Why would you want to pick up a book that tells you how to live in sin??? This has gone too far. Love, Marriage and sex are just not as sacred to some as God designed it to be! Let's talk about the subject of shacking. It seems to be posted on many Blogs, websites, magazines and the like. Black and Married with Kids posed the same question a while ago. Let's discuss it!
I have heard many reasons (which I like to call sad excuses) for Christians choosing to live together before marriage - if marriage is even a consideration! Here are a few that I am going to address today: "We want to save money", "we want to see if marriage would work", "It doesn't make sense for us to pay rent in two separate places" and the last one is "We are going to get married so we might as well live together now to make sure it will work." I am going to address each one of these excuses, oops I mean reasons, why living together is not what God desires for our courting relationships.
Shacking up is a creating an environment of daily temptation. By shacking up, you are putting yourself into a situation where you are sexually tempted. Your significant other is walking around the house in his/her night clothes, workout gear, a little of nothing or nothing at all! Let's be real, you are bound to be tempted. You are sleeping in the same bed every night, rubbing up against one another and you are aroused. There is only going to be a matter of time before you fall into sexual sin. The danger of falling into fornication is one reason why Christians should build a home and not a shack! If you know that this is the person for you then get married! Delaying marriage is saying "I am not yet ready to fully commit myself to you but I do want your body and all of the other benefits in the interim."
"But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (1 Corinthians 7:9) - This is not an excuse to get married just to have sex! You should consult God in prayer to confirm that he/she is your life partner.
"Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh." (Romans 13:14)
Ladies, by living with a man that is not our husband, we are telling him that we are not worth his full commitment. We are telling him that he doesn't have to buy the cow to get an unlimited supply of milk. Shacking up is an easy out. You don't have to give the relationship your all and all because you know that you can walk away without losing anything but time (which is very valuable). Many use the rationale of "we are testing our compatibility". The world has deemed shacking as an acceptable behavior but God sees it as sin because we are giving a foothold to the enemy. We are creating a situation that is easy for him to walk into and set up shop! This is not God's way!
"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." (Genesis 2:24-25)
Many shack up to "Save money". If this is the reason, then what you are really telling God is that you don't fully trust Him with your finances. When you are living according to His Word, you don't have to live by worldly standards to have Godly progression! God will bless you and your finances when you are obedient to Him. You think you are saving money but because you are satisfying the pleasures of the flesh (doing what you want to do), you are opening up your wallet to be satan's playground. There is only a matter of time before satan tears down your shack that isn't built upon God's Word and thus strong enough to stand!
If you feel that you must live together to "test your compatibility" then what you are really saying to God is that you don't have faith in Him to lead you in choosing a mate. An interesting study shows that couples that live together before marriage are more likely to divorce than those that didn't. Seeking God in prayer and learning about each other while you are courting should be the only test of your compatibility. The way you all interact with one another tells you a lot about if this ia a person that you could marry. You will see red flags that tell you to run and you don't have to live together for them to be visible. Become friends first and seek God together. He will reveal if that person is your mate. Many times people living together fall into the "we might as well get married since we are living together" attitude when that person was never meant to be your husband or wife! You don't have to shack up to find that out. Trust God and let him lead you into building a home and not a shack!
Fact: Those who moved in with a mate before engagement or marriage reported significantly lower quality marriages and a greater potential for split-ups than other couples. For instance, about 19 percent of those who cohabited before getting engaged had ever suggested divorce compared with just 12 percent of those who only moved in together after getting engaged and 10 percent of participants who did not cohabit prior to the wedding bells. (Source: Prenuptial Cohabiting Can Spoil Marriage)
None of the reasons given above are accepted from God as an excuse to live in sin. Shacking up has seemed to morph into an alternative to marriage. It has many of the benefits with no legal binding contract, no security and worst of all, no spiritual covering. Why is this something that is popular? God does not want us to give the enemy an easy opportunity to attack us and fall into sin. He wants us to trust Him in every area of our life and trust His design for what He called love and marriage to be. Most (and I would venture to say all) cohabitating couples are having sex. It's hard to be around your favorite cookies everyday and not indulge! This is not God's way.
There was a point in my life where I did not see living together as being a big deal. But the more that I grew spiritually I learned why God does not condone it. I am not telling you what to do with your life, but rather informing you about God's truth. We have to come to a point where we want His will to supersede anything that we want for ourselves. Our obedience to His word has to be more important than anything. Seek Him in prayer about your mate and when He gives you the thumbs up, move forward the right way - Build a Home with your husband or wife and not a shack!
Let's have an open discussion about this one! Please post your comments below for open dialogue. What do you think about Shacking? Do your views differ from what I have written? I want to hear it!
Until Next Time,
